WAIST HIGH: Proof That Waist High Is Indeed Crazy.

10/27/2005

Proof That Waist High Is Indeed Crazy.

6. (from Waist High 7/15/05): "If you thought that the owner of the largest collection of West High School photographs in the world would be invited to be on the West High School Class of 1986 reunion committee, who is meeting for the first time Aug. 7, you would be wrong. If you happen to think that the creator of a website NAMED AFTER WEST HIGH SCHOOL would be invited to be on the West High School Class of 1986 reunion committee, you would also be wrong."

5. Waist High the website is the exact same color as West High the school. Check it out here.

4. Waist High's #1 irritant Bake Town suggesting that I am crazy (Bake Town is irritating, but smart): (From Bake Town 10/24/05): PROOF THAT WAIST HIGH IS CRAZY

Waist High has finally provided me with the irrefutable proof that she is certifiably insane and in serious need of heavy medication and strenuous therapy. Really people, I think we need to stage an intervention. This is an excerpt from a recent email sent to me from Waist High.

"I didn't tell you yesterday but as we were talking on the phone, I had 3 West High yearbooks in my purse." 3 WEST HIGH YEARBOOKS IN HER FRIGGIN PURSE!

Scary, huh? This woman is SO obsessed with her former high school she CARRIES HER YEARBOOKS AROUND WITH HER! Seriously, she needs to be studied.

3. Oh, and the matter of a full time reader wondering if I wanted him to go break some kneecaps while he was in the Southern California area on business (and me actually wondering if 4 hours would be too far for him to drive)

To: waisthigh@_________.com
From: ---------@___________.com

Will I be close to the original West High School and those ladies on the committee? You know, I know people who "take care of things." Or, I could always just ding dong ditch them. Let me know.

2. Look at my tag line.

1. After being Shunned From The Aforementioned Reunion Committee, I continue to work on the West High School Class of 1986 website, spending 25+ hours just this last week alone.

Might I present to you, my labour of love, the West High School Class of 1986.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

THE KERN COUNTY DRUNKARD
Everything at Waist High is a long story, and the story of The KCD is no exception. After this individual told Waist High in December of 2003 that she was going to kill her, "Waist High" the blog was born. Please do not tell Waist High the person that you are going to kill her or she will create "Waist High" the blog and write nasty things about you! Including the time you stunk up the bathroom at The Alley Cat. The "Kern County Drunkard Watch" detailed the drunken comings and goings of the live-in love interest of one of Waist High's most cherished male friends. Never has Waist High met anyone who drank as much as or as often as The KCD. The KCD, because she was an insecure drunk, hated Waist High for most of her decade long relationship with Waist High's most cherished male friend. She hated Waist High for the obvious reason: Waist High is hot. A one time source of much of the material for Waist High the blog, The "Kern County Drunkard Watch" was permanently retired in March 2005 when Waist High's most cherished male friend finally came to his senses and kicked her ass to the curb.

RAMPART
Rampart is the first ex-husband of Waist High. She refers to him as her first ex-husband because she knows there will eventually be a second. Rampart grew up on the mean streets of Bakersfield and claims to have been the co-discoverer of the well known 1980s dirt field party spot known as "The Place." Rampart's 1987 directive to Waist High, "Drink this six pack before I get back!" made both Waist High and Rampart parents at age 20. Rampart currently resides 4.5 miles from Waist High in the wilds of Oregon and is an enduring fixture at their local Cigs For Less shop. Once a Bakersfield Del Taco associate, Sail Thru Hamburgers drive up dude, and Wible Road AM/PM graveyard worker, Rampart claims to now net $49,000 per month. But only to impress people, not when required.

(THE FORMER) LOVELY TEENAGED DAUGHTER
Not your average 35 year old. Born to Waist High as a "Miracle on 34th Street" in Bakersfield Memorial Hospital on 34th Street, LTD is on the board of MAC cosmetics. Not really, but she swears allegiance only to them. When LTD's mother once purchased LTD some eye shadow from Target, LTD threatened to call the police. Sweeter than Tupelo Honey, with the attitude of a feral cat, LTD is disgusted with most things. Including being forced to live with Waist High from 1988-2005. The child at one time even had her own blog, "Living With Waist High," which detailed her misery. A graduate of the oldest institution in the Oregon University System, LTD kept her promise of not getting knocked up at age 20 like Waist High did.

THE STRANGER
Oh God bless The Stranger. The Stranger was one of Waist High's most loyal confidants during some of the darker periods of the blog. Although his fierce allegiance to really bad music was a great source of aggravation for Waist High, The Stranger gave her a much needed look at life. Through the eyes of someone not yet bitter. The Stranger was almost pushed out of a moving vehicle when he revealed to Waist High that not only did he not know who Barry Manilow, Captain & Tenille, or Spandau Ballet were, but that he literally had no clue what Trail Mix was.

"TRI-TIP"
Special Correspondent to Waist High, and one of Waist High's most cherished friends. Used to live with The Kern County Drunkard. Was a Special Correspondent to Waist High for 9 months before knowing it. Long story. This individual coined the ultimate mid '80s Bakersfield drinking phrase, "Lock hubs. Party!"

DESI
Waist High's former work spouse. Cares about Waist High so much that he once took Waist High with him on a smoke break the very next day after she spent $250 for hypnotherapy TO QUIT SMOKING. Was the first person in conversation to introduce Waist High to concepts like "The Dirty Sanchez," "Dog In A Bathtub," "Tea Bagging," and "The Shocker." Reminds Waist High as often as possible that if women "neglect the balls," their men will leave them.